life, Travel

On top of the mountain where everything makes sense or..?

On top of the mountain where everything makes sense or..?

It’s a question I answer a lot to: for a lot of people it`s all about the nature and enjoying, they are really good at it. But for me it`s different at the top of the mountains.

… Or not at all.. because some things I will just never get. And yet every year I think about it – still. No matter how many years, hours, days, lives, century I am on the slopes or in the mountains. How many times I climbed to that top. I still don’t understand some things – even though I try really hard.

People always tell me to enjoy, enjoy the little things, appreciate what I actually have reached already. But they don’t understand me – even though I try really hard. I tell them I enjoy progression and challenge – adventure, the unknown. That moment I have fun. Some look me scared in the eyes… When I reached that mountain top, my climb starts. I want to learn new tricks, push the limits and explorer new boundaries. Create my own way down. All the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it and sometimes that way up is longer than you think… or down, how you see it. But if you learned that new trick or survived that deep slope – I am ready for the next top to start climbing – it just never ends for me – but then, and only then I really enjoy!

I always think that every mountain top is within reach , if you just keep on climbing. Soon as I am there I start thinking in possibilities.  What now? What’s next?  …. Meanwhile I see some people next to me stare at it, take a picture and enjoy the view – knowing  they will never get to that mountain top – it`s not within reach. I stood next to these people many times, just looking at them with my surprised face, listening to their conversation… In secret my mind is already counting down to find my way without thinking, just going – that mountain top is within reach you know?  I don’t know why, it just happens. But what I do know: The top of the mountain has a different meaning for everyone around me. Just like winter sport. And just like people, we are all different. Good because if everyone was like me, we wouldn’t be safe out here after all. And that’s okay! But it still doesn’t make sense to me – even though I try really hard.

..Enjoying the moments…

I like those people who are happy enjoying the sun and just touring around on the slopes in the mountains. All day every day. Same time – same place – same ski lift – same slopes. And still they seem happy, doing the same over and over again. Well the turns they make are always different but.. they come down safely and that’s all that matters.

Just like every year I am surprised how many pizza shovels there are on the slopes. All day every day. No progression and still going strong – just getting down and enjoying that view, that lunch, be happy.  Going through the same struggle every day – looking can I make that turn, am I not going to fast, don’t drop out of the lift. One slopes is taking forever. I wish I could do that.

And I do deeply, deeply respect people who can read a book on the slopes at a bench in the middle of the slopes. With all those people and challenges around. How? Or the people that just go for a walk along the slopes on top of the mountains. I mean the view is nice I know.. but to manage to go down through that forest – without getting lost or dropping down a cliff – would be even more awesome is it? still doesn’t make sense to me – even though I try really hard.

Because I can`t. Every time I try and try again. I just can`t enjoy it without progression, without stupid things, without crashing, without exploring that boundaries and pushing that limits. I always come up with something even if it’s not on purpose. And I will stick to it. And especially not if I know I could have done something but it just doesn’t work now. I don’t stop trying for some reason. That’s what makes it fun for me!  And how I learned a lot.

Stop:

“Because when you stop and look around life is pretty amazing”

Until people stop me and tell me to look around. How nice the view is. I didn’t even realized. Didn’t even think about it. But you know what? They are actually totally right. It`s nice here, life is amazing – indeed. Glad you notice, cause I didn`t.  But as soon as I am left by myself that feeling comes back again. What boundary do I need to cross today, what adventure can I think off. Where can we go of the beaten path. Even the skilift has no escape and I will try to implement some handle passes on the way to the top.

Because for me:

“it`s not the mountain we conquer but ourselves”

The mountains teached me a lot. It brought me where I am today, the person who I am nowadays, the skills I have and the adventures I take, the  funny moments and crashes that are part of it. This is /was my comfort zone and also everything but my comfort zone. This is where I learned to challenge myself, to push myself to get better, to be better, to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Here I learned: the difficult is what takes a little time, the impossible is what takes a little longer. Don’t give up just because something is hard, pushing through challenges is what makes you grow! … And great things take time, so does skiing almost 125 km/hour again or landing that trick. I might have to accept I enjoy that way! This is life – and I decide.   

….. I like to learn as much as possible BUT a bit more about something important I learned (and I am still learning):  Enjoying the little things in life, appreciate what you actually have reached. No- one will take that away from you! If I forget: remember me – again and again. Stop – look up, look around, enjoy. You will see the world and the view that was already there for days.. while I was still going and going, focused to learn something new.  

“there is nothing to proof and nothing to protect, I was who I was and I am who I am and that’s enough”

If there are no kickers, halfpipe or sliders, I will race down again. Even though I know I am not going to compete. I push myself to go faster and faster every single moment.  It’s not that I have to proof anyone what I can do. No- one would be asking questions if I didn`t try a new trick. Or being angry at me for not trying something different. Pushing me for being not as fast as yesterday. There will be only one person that might be disappointed that will be … yes that will be me. The rest just happy that I am safe back home – I know 😉

On top of the mountain where everything makes sense or..?

It’s a place where we learn a lot. About ourselves and life, where we enjoy the moments and have fun. Realize that life is about more than always progressing. That the top of the mountains has a different meaning for everyone around.  Standing still for a moment is the challenge of the stubborn go-getters as me. Accept there is no finish line.

Thanks to all people around I realize that!  I might never get it – even though I try really hard. But I realize it, and I know: Don’t forget to look up sometimes!  🙂

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