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#troublemaker & Stubborn – want to be like me?

#troublemaker & Stubborn – want to be like me?

Lot of times people ask me how? how I did it? How it comes that all happens in a certain way. How I can do it all? How to be good? and how they can be like me… first of all let me tell you keep going being yourself. You don’t know me.

“Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what they have been through.”

A lot of times I read in messages:  I want to be good. I want to be just like you. Where do I start? And straight after that: but I never have the right conditions, I can`t, I have no time, no money…  AND you, you trained a lot (and I have to work , school etc. #excuses) –  Let me clear that up as well. That is not always the truth. People tend to forget I do a lot more, not just one discipline. And maybe came from really far – not the easy way. So yes I trained a lot but not just one thing. I bet if you calculate time I got the less time on the same thing you got.  And maybe even kite shorter than you. And besides that I also work 5 days a week and do a fulltime study, besides playing soccer, skiing, snowboarding, all kitesurfing disciplines and a lot more!! Still excuses?  Always the complaining, comparing,  conclusions before even starting or trying. And you know what? A Lot is to do with yourself. My answer is always: Go for it, dive in and learn swimming. Go out there and try! Create that way and just don’t give up.

Because, something might be different between you and me, something that helped me to get where I am now: no matter how good you are, no matter the conditions, no matter where you are now, no matter what ever happened in live, no matter which challenges you faced. You can do it too – there is always a way.

Mindset

Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect.  It means you have decided to look behind imperfections. Yes, sometimes its winter in Holland and we don’t have the money or time to travel. But get that winter wetsuit out and drive to the beach, have fun! At least now you did fly that kite and you will notice it’s not that bad at all. When I started I learned most in winter time.. nice and quiet on the water and warm in my drysuit – don’t care what other people think. Even if you have to defrost your lines inside the restaurant.  Or bring the landboard. And off course the wind is not always right, gusty, too less or too strong for the things you wanted to practice. Forget about your goals for that day, let the wind decide and go with it. And well some days there is just no wind or you have to swim back, walk upwind or be rescued… that means your testing the limits. That’s something good. Be creative and make up another plan. Take a SUP or fly that kite again on the beach. Every minute out there you will learn something even if it might be small.  Train your mind, your body will follow. A positive mindset will help you a lot in live to reach goals and be happy. Progress is impossible without change and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. It all begins in your mind , what you think , you create.

 Fail

Yes fail! I have been given up more than once. I have lost matches, sponsorships,  competitions,  friends, crashed too many times, missed marks and missed the goal even more. Made a mess of everything.  Have failed over and over again. But I kept playing until I got it right and wrong again. I never gave up and that’s why I succeeded. Never stop when you are tired, stop when you are done – that’s what my coach always told me.  He always forgot about one thing…. I am never done J Mistakes are the proof that you are trying. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right. Or maybe even better do not think at all – just go! You got this . The only thing you have to do is to try again and try one more time – always. You will get used to failing, crashing and you will learn it gets you progress and makes you stronger! And besides that you will find a lot of ways that don’t work, the way that works will wait for you. If I came home with a dry kite.. my parents told me: you didn’t practiced anything new today – are you going back out there? As my kites are usually dirty and wet, because without crashing no progression.  And you now failing is fun too at least afterwards.

“Fail : first attempt in learning.”

Don’t Compare

Don’t compare your progress to that of others. NEVER. We all need our own time to travel our own distance.  This is a reaaaaaaly important one. It will only make you feel bad and yet -here you will lose your confidence in yourself.  Comparing yourself with others is a battle you will NEVER win. I did this a lot of time knowing I could do a lot before and after I couldn`t catch up on skies anymore. It`s only frustrating yourself.  Now I make my own way, follow my own journey and open my own doors – which feels way better and makes me progress much more.  Be confident, too many days are already waisted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we are not (and we will never be – so forget about that). Everybody has their own strengths and weakness – and its only when you accept everything you are and everything you are not that you will truly succeed in life! Instead compare yourself to the person you was yesterday.

Photo: Don Laczi

Be stubborn

Yes , be stubborn. I know Stubborn can be good or bad, it’s the way you use it. Be stubborn about your goals but flexible about your methods.  I am stubborn and I admit it and its okay.  I know I am strong willed and can be very annoying sometimes – for everyone around. But I will forgive whether I am right or wrong.  Life has knocked me down more than once . It showed me things I never wanted to see, I experienced failures and sadness. But one thing for sure I always got up! Be stubborn and never let go. Everyone has bad days, pick yourself up, smile , take a deep breath and keep going. Every day is a new beginning. Don’t give up finding YOUR way. But do remember that sometimes it takes bending to avoid breaking. Sometimes you just have to hold on a bit longer than you think you can and everything will come together. Keep on practicing that trick, fight for that goal – don’t let it go. Sometimes it`s just a bit adjustment but you will find a way.  

“If there is no way- create one, write your own story and leave footprints.”

Photo Credits: Zander Servando

Focus.

Stay focused. Don’t focus on what you’re up against of fighting the old.  Focus on your own goals and building the new. Try to ignore the rest when you have to.  Focus is also about saying no. Sometimes you have to make decisions in what to do. Make sacrifices. It can be hard but some things don’t fit your focus or will distract you. Learn to say no.  It will help you progress in your goals and your way of live.

And focus on the right things.  When you focus on the problems or the past . You will have more problems. When you focus on possibilities you will have more opportunities. I have done competitions with the oldest gear, but I focused on my own race, my own tactics, my tricks and made my way into the world of competing – into podium finishes … as I wanted.  Because I focused on what I could do, I did know my (old) gear and worked it out.

Photo Credits: Inez Vree / Kitepaparazza

Work in progress

Progress takes time! Accept it. Otherwise you will be disappointed pretty fast. Those who make it look easy have worked hard over time. Believe me. A little talent, luck, coaching and materials will help, but after all it’s the effort you put in yourself. A little progress each day ends up to big results. Strive for progress, not perfection. Everybody is a work in progress. I am a work in progress.. I mean, I`ve never arrived, I`m still learning all the time. The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need tomorrow. Trust that struggle and enjoy it. Make it fun that will help you even though it’s not working out today soon or later it will! How many times I have been swimming with that big foil kite.. ready to drop it in between the trash, thinking it`s impossible. But every day I came a bit further and started to see it as a project: work in progress. Just like that stupid tricks you think you will never land – keep on going.

Make some trouble or better be it: #troublemaker

Don’t forget to eat your lunch and make some trouble that’s what my grandma told me. If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission. If you don’t ask permission no-one can say no.  Make your days count! You know? Rules are made for people who aren’t willing to make up their own… Its your game, your live! Spend it in your own way and enjoy!! And maybe learn the rules so you know how to break them effectively. Sometimes it’s enough to test the elasticity. You will find your own way, in everything. Just have fun, be yourself,  enjoy live and the rest will follow. One way or the other. In this way you will be testing your own limits, keep pushing yourself and will be learning a lot. Don’t hold back.

But remember everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind – always! 🙂

1 thought on “#troublemaker & Stubborn – want to be like me?”

  1. Mooi om te lezen! Je bent druk bezig geweest. Probeer nog in te loggen.

    Mariska Wildenberg schreef op 17-12-2019 16:52: > Mariskaaa posted: ” #troublemaker & Stubborn – want to be like me? > Lot of times people ask me how? how I did it? How it comes that all > happens in a certain way. How I can do it all? How to be good? and how > they can be like me… first of all let me tell you keep going ” > >

    Liked by 1 person

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